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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25097239">sight of the sun</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spider-Man - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Depressed Peter Parker, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Peter Parker, Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:22:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25097239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter knew that he should currently feel bad. He had, after all, just destroyed six months of hard work in the space of about 11 minutes.</p>
<p>or: Peter has a bad day and needs some help coping. Clint comes round to lend a hand</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton &amp; Peter Parker, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>210</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sight of the sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone! Its been a while since i posted, and i dont want to promise regular updates, but i'm getting back into writing, so i'm hoping to post more! </p>
<p>Hope you all enjoy this! As always, please please be mindful of the tags! this does centre around self harm, so please dont read this if you're not going to be able to deal with that. Stay safe &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Peter knew that he should currently feel bad. He had, after all, just destroyed six months of hard work in the space of about 11 minutes.</p>
<p>But he really couldn’t bring himself to care. Somewhere next to him, his phone buzzed against the cold tile of the bathroom floor. He glanced across, stomach clenching at the sight of the caller ID.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Incoming call from: Tony Stark</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Peter made no move to answer the phone. Instead, he continued to stare down at the blood that was steadily making its way down his thigh and onto the tiles below. He was sure something in him had broken the minute that he had allowed himself to pick up the blade again; ever since metal had touched skin, he’d felt <em>nothing</em>, despite the heady call for bloodshed finally leaving him for the first time in days.</p>
<p>Now he just felt hollow. Like someone had scooped everything from him and all that was left was the shell. His phone buzzed again.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Message from: Tony Stark</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Kid answer your damn phone. Are you okay??</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Peter let out a weary sigh and scrubbed a hand over his face. Not two seconds later, Tony sent another message.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Peter, I’m looking at a chart of your vitals right now and I don’t like what I see. I may be halfway across the country, but that won’t stop me checking on you</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>His heart contracted painfully at the idea that Tony would fly all the way back from his business meeting two days early just to check on him; not to mention that Tony would not like what he saw when he arrived. He always seemed to have a knack for seeing right through Peter’s feeble attempts to cover up his failing mental health and already know what had happened without him even speaking a word. <em>Fucking AI keeping tabs on me, it’s like living in the Big Brother House,</em> Peter thought, his anger prickling that his mentor didn’t seem to trust him enough to <em>not</em> keep an eye on him.</p>
<p>But then again, here he was doing exactly what he had promised Mr Stark that he wouldn’t do; act rashly and fall into old habits without telling anyone how bad he was feeling.</p>
<p>Peter let out another forlorn sigh and shot a text back to Tony: <strong><em>I’m fine Mr Stark, can’t talk now – got dinner with May </em></strong></p>
<p>It was a lie, of course, in every sense of the word; May was away on a training weekend with the hospital. She thought that Peter had asked to stay with Mr Stark and the Avengers at the compound for the weekend, and Peter really had intended to ask. That is until he heard that Tony would be out of town, attempting, in his words, ‘one of the biggest deals the Avengers ever been involved in’. Peter had suspicions that Tony was trying to buy another base for them; one where they could go to relax after missions instead of to train and work. Although, who was he kidding, the whole team were the biggest bunch of workaholics that Peter had ever met.</p>
<p>Not ten minutes later, Peter heard a knock at the apartment door.</p>
<p>His spider sense immediately went haywire and he scrambled to pull on some sweatpants before whoever was outside got impatient and decided to break in.</p>
<p>The hammering on the door got more urgent as Peter made his way cautiously into the kitchen and towards the front door. Just as he was about to call out and ask who it was, however, he heard them speak.</p>
<p>‘<em>Damn it, Parker,</em>’ was that -? Peter knew he recognised the voice, but the wood between them muffled the sound and not even his enhanced hearing was good enough to place it. ‘Stark,’ the voice began again, and this time Peter recognised it. ‘He’s not answering should I break in?’ There was a pause that was just long enough for Peter to make his way in front of the door. ‘Got it boss.’</p>
<p>Peter could hear scraping, as if the lock was being picked. He stood frozen, ready to fight when the door finally swung open.</p>
<p>‘Peter!’</p>
<p>‘Barton,’ he greeted stiffly, lowering his hands.</p>
<p>‘God, you scared me. Couldn’t have done me a favour and opened the door instead of making me let myself in?’</p>
<p>Peter watched as Clint entered his apartment and did a quick sweep of the kitchen. He didn’t know whether it was just a habit the hero had picked up, or if he was looking for something, but either way, it made him nervous. ‘I figured you’d get the hint,’ he replied, prickling at the intrusion.</p>
<p>‘No May?’</p>
<p>‘She’s out.’ Peter said shortly.</p>
<p>‘Huh,’ Clint hummed thoughtfully, paying no mind at all to Peter’s frosty attitude, ‘thought you said to Tony you were having dinner together. I was hoping to get in on the offer of food.’</p>
<p>Peter, having no real excuse, just shrugged.</p>
<p>Clint raised an eyebrow, studying him carefully. ‘Been on patrol?’</p>
<p>The question was casual, but it still made Peter’s hackles raise. ‘Not tonight,’ he said truthfully, ‘I – uh had a lot of homework to get through.’</p>
<p>Barton hummed, flicking the kettle on as he did so and beginning to search the cupboards for cups.</p>
<p>‘Listen,’ he said carefully, ‘not – not that it isn’t really nice for you to drop by, but –’</p>
<p>‘But why am I here?’ Clint interrupted, passing Peter a steaming mug of coffee. ‘I got a call from Tony.’</p>
<p>‘Oh?’ Peter knew his response was a little too quick, especially when he saw Barton pause for a fraction of a second at his answer.</p>
<p>‘He was worried about you, said your vitals were off.’</p>
<p>‘I – I was –’ Peter stuttered, unsuccessfully trying to school his features into a look of innocent confusion.</p>
<p>‘On patrol? Yeah, that’s what he said you’d say. Except you just told me you haven’t been out, and the suit data seems to back that up too.’</p>
<p>Peter’s palms were sweating now; he knew his lies had already caught up with him.</p>
<p>Barton gave him a minute to speak, but when nothing was forthcoming, he began again in earnest. ‘When Tony called and asked me to come on over, he told me that he was worried that maybe today was a bad day for you – we all get ‘em, don’t worry, comes with the line of work – and that maybe you might need someone to help you get through it. Hence, here I am, at your disposal. So, what do you think?’</p>
<p>Peter was at a loss for words. It was bad enough with Tony knowing about his <em>– issues – </em>without other members of the team finding out as well. The last thing he wanted was for them to think that he was weak.</p>
<p>Seemingly reading Peter’s mind, Clint continued, ‘listen kid, we all have our demons; Tony has alcohol, Cap works himself into the ground, I – well, I spend too much time training to try to keep up with you super heroes. Everyone picks their poison. But none of us are alone in this; we’ve all got each other.’ He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck apologetically, ‘look, you’ve got blood on your trousers. Could you show me what you’ve done please?’</p>
<p>Peter’s blood ran cold. Sure enough, when he glanced down, there was a dark stain on the right thigh of his sweats, standing out starkly against the pale grey. <em>Fuck,</em> he thought, <em>busted.</em></p>
<p>Time seemed to crawl at a snails pace while Peter watched Clint carefully examine and dress his injuries. He worked in silence. Peter wouldn’t have minded this if his brain wasn’t going haywire and; his thoughts were chasing themselves around his head at 200 miles an hour, and he could barely stop himself from reaching out to agitate his already healing cuts, just to make them last longer.</p>
<p>After what felt like hours, Clint was finally done. He rocked back on his heals, gazing up at Peter with an unguarded look of concern. The pity directed at him, however, only served to make him feel worse, not better. After all, Barton was one of <em>earth’s mightiest heroes</em> – someone who had to face real fears every day – and here he was, looking after Peter, who wasn’t even able to spend a full 24 hours alone. It was pathetic really.</p>
<p>‘Do you want to tell me what this is about?’</p>
<p>Peter scrubbed a hand down his face in an attempt to get his brain to work. ‘I just – honestly Barton, I’m not entirely sure what it was about myself.’ He admitted quietly, barely able to look at his team mate. ‘I got – <em>overwhelmed</em> – I guess.’</p>
<p>‘About anything in particular?’</p>
<p>‘Just school stuff. The decathlon team are getting annoyed that I can’t turn up to all their practices and Flash –’</p>
<p>‘Flash does what?’ Clint prompted with a frown.</p>
<p>‘He’s just decided to step up the amount of mean things he says,’ Peter admitted, defeated. ‘And sure, I’d rather he did it to me than to some other poor kid, but it’s just draining and it really lowers my tolerance for being able to cope with these things.’ He gestured vaguely in the direction of his now bandaged leg.</p>
<p>‘Does anything normally help when you feel like this?’</p>
<p>‘Well,’ he said, glancing away from Clint in embarrassment, ‘I – I’ve never really tried to stop before, so this is all kind of new to me.’</p>
<p>‘Not to worry,’ he replied kindly, ‘shall we see whether watching a movie improves anything and go from there?’</p>
<p>‘Only if – I mean – you’re not busy are you Clint? I don’t want to waste your time.’</p>
<p>‘I’m right where I need to be.’ Clint said firmly, marching over to the Parker’s extensive DVD shelf. ‘Now, you choose what we’re watching while I call Tony and tell him to write a strongly worded letter to your school about their abysmal anti-bullying policies.’</p>
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